To Sleep perchance to dream…

Sleep, or the lack of it, is another modern malaise. The purpose, function and drive to sleep has eluded science for millennia; to unravel its mysteries and deliver its age-old secrets has become the holy grail of modern neuroscience and research. Michael Rosbach, one of three American biologists awarded a Nobel Prize for their discovery of the master genes controlling the body’s circadian rhythms, has declared that all of western society is chronically sleep-deprived.

Though feted as a malady of the technology era, insomnia has always been the unwanted bed fellow of modern man. Some of the most famous actors, artists and political leaders have been unable to court the Sandman, and tales of their insomnia are legendary .Vladimir Nobokov, a famous insomniac, called sleepers “ the most moronic fraternity in the world” and felt that the wrench of parting with consciousness almost unbearable. He wanted always to be an eye awake, a seer in a sleeping world, a solitary watcher among the unconscious.

Vincent Van Gogh was said to have been a sufferer and used to douse his mattress and pillow in camphor, a close relative of turpentine, which scholars believe may have caused the brain damage which contributed to his suicide. Groucho Marx’s extreme insomnia led to him reportedly calling strangers on the phone in the small hours to insult them and wrote: “What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?” According to Marx the correct answer is someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

The modern-day equivalent is the insomniacal tribe of online social media users, who often commune and direct message in the small hours, propelled by the excitement that they are not alone. As an often-reluctant member of this wide-awake club, I have taken comfort in Leonard Cohen’s line that the last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the waking world.

Medieval humans slept in two phases, a deep first sleep from sunset until 2am, followed by a few hours of wakefulness, then a lighter second sleep until dawn

Roger Ekirch, author of At Day’s Close: A History of Nighttime, writes about the pattern where medieval humans slept in two phases, a deep first sleep from sunset until 2am, followed by a few hours of wakefulness, then a lighter second sleep until dawn. The wakeful hours were spent in prayer, visits to neighbours or engaged in nocturnal shenanigans. He argues that the modern “precious eight hours’ sleep” is a product of the industrial age and the advent of artificial light and that medieval sleepers got closer to nature’s intention than we do. As well as negotiating the tribulations of middle age it appears that my sleeping pattern is medieval, a nightly throw-back to the bi-modal sleep pattern of my ancestors.

Tallulah Bankhead, the early 20th-century filmstar and libertine, hit on a solution to her lifelong insomnia by hiring gay caddies to hold her hand until she nodded off

Tallulah Bankhead, the famous early 20th-century filmstar and libertine, hit on the solution to her lifelong insomnia by hiring gay caddies to sit with her and hold her hand until she nodded off. A less expensive and modern alternative is to try to nod off to the gravelly tones of Drew Akerman, aka Dearest Scooter, the 42-year-old creator and host of the popular Sleep With Me podcast. This is downloaded about 1.3million times each month, which gives some measure of the need for stories that succeed in boring the listener to sleep. Scooter sometimes calls his show “the podcast the sheep listen to when they get tired of counting themselves”. In Greek myth, Hermes used his inimitable wit to tell stories so long-winded and labyrinthine that they lulled the many-eyed monster Argus to sleep.

Aubade confronts what is at the heart of both poetry and insomnia: a preternatural dread of the Big Sleep of death, of which each night’s sleep is trope and harbinger

Anna Akhmatova wrote that insomnia is when both sides of the pillow feel hot. The great poet Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote a sonnet about sleeplessness called I wake and feel the fell of dark, when he lived in Ireland in the 1880s. In its depiction of a dark night of the soul, it is unparalleled in English literature. Another poet who distils the essence of the sleepless night is Philip Larkin. He often stayed up all night with his martinis and jazz LPs, and in the poem Aubade confronts what is at the heart of both poetry and insomnia: a preternatural dread of the Big Sleep of death, of which each night’s sleep is trope and harbinger. “Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare. In time the curtain-edges will grow light. Till then I see what’s always there: Unresting death, a whole day nearer now…”

Aristotle regarded sleep as a between world, “being as it were a borderland between living and not-living”, sleep being nearer to death than waking, or as Macduff calls it in Macbeth, “death’s counterfeit.”

As a seasoned insomniac, I have spent many years in search for a panacea from the gods, a miracle that would restore me to dream like the Waltons, fast asleep after lights out, cocooned in soporific dreamland far from the madding world. I have tried tinctures, tonics, flower remedies, herbs, homeopathy and acupuncture. I have downloaded apps, subscribed to YouTube channels, chanted and exhaled, twisted and turned and made Faustian pacts for nocturnal oblivion. I have spent vast sums on goose-down pillows and frette linen sheets as Spotify filled the bedroom with soundtracks of rainforests and jungles. The screeching cockatoos and monsoon rains’ aural ministrations have often scared me senseless and led to lights on in wonderland and paranoid checking under the bed for any stray jungle creature.

I have trawled the internet for moon juice and night dusts made by hippies in California, whose contents promised to deliver a nightcap that would lull me to sleep and let me slip slide away into a deep, sound slumber. A cornucopia of soporifics, including cherry juice, magnesium, B6, calcium and chamomile have left me still staring at the ceiling. As a great believer in bibliotherapy, I recently set myself a challenge to read my way through some of the recent publications concerned with the search for an enlightening sleep.

Wide Awake: What I Learned About Sleep from Doctors, Drug Companies, Dream Experts, and a Reindeer Herder in the Arctic Circle, By Patricia Morrisroe
This memoir is a must-read for fellow insomniacs. As a fourth generation sufferer of the plight, Morrisroe approaches the topic with the zeal of a researcher – always armed with her fabulous wit, which percolates the book and gives great light to the dark subject. Her insomnia is personified for her as John Malkovich in the tole of Valmont, the sadistic French aristocrat of Dangerous Liaisons. She realises that sleep, in its various dysfunctions, can be one of the most dangerous liasons of all, increasing your risk of heart disease, obesity and cancer.

Morrisroe’s book is a personal narrative of her search for that which eludes her, the perfect night’s sleep. On this journey to unmask her torturer, she meets drug researchers and dispensers, mystics and cowboys, psychotherapists and savants, and unravels the notions about sleep that are often founded on fantasy, mythology and marketing. She illuminates the murky world of smart drugs like Provigil, whose maker Cephalon paid a huge fine for allegedly marketing the drug as a wake promoter instead of its FDA approved use for excessive sleepiness associated with narcolepsy.

She also interviews an anthropologist, who says that in many traditional, non-Western cultures people sleep on light mats, in groups, around a fire and drift in and out of slumber instead of our “lie down and die” model. Sometimes they get up and dance for a while, which is very reminiscent of student life, but perhaps not compatible with a life based on a nine to five. Her description of a restful apartment’s ruination by the arrival of noisy upstairs neighbours, whose children proceeded to stampede nightly at 3am across her ceiling will strike a chord with many of us who’ve endured similar nocturnal nuisance.

Until she found her dream home she lived in a variety of New York apartments; one had such a flimsy common wall that she could hear her neighbour, an elderly Irishman, praying nightly for the Pope and President Reagan. The acoustics allowed her to hear his tonail-clipping, “the nails clattering over the hardwood floor like reindeer hooves.”

Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams , By Matthew Walker
Matthew Walker is a renowned neuroscientist and sleep expert who explores 20 years of sleep research in an attempt to solve the mystery of why sleep matters. This book is divided into four parts: the first two are concerned with the mechanics and benefits of sleep, the last two with how and why we dream as well as a new vision for sleep in the 21st century. As a bedside read, it can be dipped into according to one’s curiosity about sleep and the style is accessible, with the author able to demystify complex neurological phenomena.

The first chapter sets the tone, with Walker announcing the sobering fact that “routinely sleeping less than six or seven hours a night demolishes your immune system, more than doubling your risk of cancer” as well as contributing to your risk of Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, stroke and heart failure. Walker explains that sleep remains one of the last of the great biological mysteries. Our sleep patterns are cued by light and its absence, with photoreceptors at the back of the eyes picking up light and sending electrical signals to the suprachiasmatic nucleus in your brain. This is the master timekeeper, which regulates and synchronises body temperature and blood pressure, making sure that they all operate on the same cycle, known as circadian rhythm.

In an ideal world, without the blue light of digital devices discombobulating the clockwork, when darkness falls our pineal gland produces melatonin which induces sleep. During daylight hours, melatonin production is reduced to encourage wakefulness. Walker is particularly informative about our genetic propensity to be either an owl or a lark and society’s bias towards larks in work-scheduling. This causes owls to burn candles at both ends to fit into the work model, which exacts a huge toll on health and happiness. Despite some of the findings making this night owl a little uneasy, it’s a triumph in its field, where findings have huge implications for health and work life in modern society.

Acquainted with the Night: Insomnia Poems, By Lisa Russ Spaar (Editor)
Rudyard Kipling wrote that words are the most powerful drug used by mankind. This is a beautiful anthology, with poetic greats like Emily Dickinson and Elizabeth Bishop, Rimbaud and Sappho, Shakespeare and Shelley representing the best of the Western canon, alongside poets from Russia, China, Japan, Vietnam, Romania and other far-flung corners of the world to show the universality of sleeplessness and what it means to be acquainted with the night.

A restless night of tossing and turning can become, in the hands of Hopkins or Sappho, a visionary and artistic experience that can lead to epiphany or confrontation with existential crisis. The anthology is divided into three parts; Solititude, Vigil and Anguish and Longing and Epiphany and Vision. Insomniac by Sylvia Plath is a triumph of all of these odes to insomnia where Plath summons a nightscape of terror inspired by her own bouts of excruciating sleeplessness. Plath describes the insomniac’s pillow as being a desert – arid and bereft from the oasis of sleep. The insomniac is immune to the sleeping tablets “those sugary planets whose influence won for him/ a life baptized in no-life for a while” and their “poppy-sleepy colors do him no good”

The night is only a sort of carbon paper,
Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars
Letting in the light, peephole after peephole –
A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things.
Under the eyes of the stars and the moon’s rictus
He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness
Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions.

Pushkin’s poem loses none of its powerful evocation of a sleepless night in its translation from the Russian in its depiction of the sleepless author listening to the external ticking of the clock as well as the internal whispers of a reproachful conscience.

Lines Written at Night During Insomnia by Alexander Pushkin (Translated by DM Thomas)

I can’t sleep; no light burns;
All round, darkness, irksome sleep.
Only the monotonous
Ticking of the clock,
The old wives chatter of fate,
Trembling of the sleeping night,
Mouse-like scurrying of life…
Why do you disturb me?
What do you mean tedious whispers?
Is it the day I have wasted
Reproaching me or murmuring?
What do you want from me?
Are you calling me or prophesying?
I want to understand you,
I seek a meaning in you.

The Sleep Revolution: Transforming Your Life, One Night at a Time , By Arianna Huffington
The media mogul Arianna Huffington’s book is a call not to lean in but to lie down and sleep as an aid to productivity and life enhancement. Arianna practices what she preaches and sleeps on a bed dressed with her organic cotton sheet range from her Huffington collection and her pillows stuffed with soporific hops and barley. She relegates her phone and electronic devices to the foyer outside the bedroom and engages in a half-hour nightly transition to sleep that includes gratitude journaling, bathing in Epsom salts by candlelight, rituals which help her to greet sleep with respect. Huffington believes that the miracle of sleep allows us to see the world with a reinvigorated spirit, to step out of time and come back to our lives restored. This is a must-read for all aspiring entrepreneurs as this newly anointed sleep evangelist believes that a sleep revolution will allow us to problem solve and dream a new future.

Sleep in Early Modern England, By Sasha Handley
Handley’s book is an illuminating cultural history of sleep, drawing on a rich host of archival sources, referencing Samuel Pepys and the Romantics in an effort to enrich our knowledge of sleep and its roles in earlier societies. The physician and clergyman Thomas Cogan in his The Haven of Health written in the late 1500s presaged this year’s Nobel thesis when he stated “the benefit of sleepe, or the necessity rather needeth no proofe, for that without it no living creature may long endure, according to that saying of the Poet Ovid.”

worldsleepday.org

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Mothers in Literature

     mr-and-mrs-bennet-jane-austens-couples-14290545-499-281       

E.M Forster  wrote that “ if all mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars.”If all mothers were like the  saintly depiction in Little Women of the figure “ who glided quietly from bed to bed, smoothing a coverlid here, settling a pillow there”, then Forster might have been onto something. Fiction would be very colourless without the horror inducing psycho mums and mommy dearests  who make Medea seem maternal.

Joyce wrote that “ whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not” and Steinbeck wisely declared “ that it takes courage to raise children.  Larkin in his famous poem This Be The Verse stated -They fuck you up, your mum and dad/They may not mean to, but they do/ They fill you with the faults they had// And add some extra just for you-Novelists rejoice in the roomy expanse of the marriage plots as a device and in the narrative thrill that adultery provides but very few have tackled the mother as the central heart of the work . With Mother’s Day around the corner here are some of the books that explore our closest bond.

 

1-Mrs. Bennet in Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Jane Austen’s narrator described her as “a woman of mean understanding, little information and uncertain temper.” As mother to the five Bennet daughters who won’t be inheriting their father’s estate this incorrigible social gadfly’s mission is to find wealthy husbands for her girls. Controlling, bossy and very crude she raises the bar for meddling mothers and scheming matriarchs.Her crass actions are driven by economic necessity and she is one of the earliest depictions of what we now call a momager. One of the quotes that epitomises her character- “ I have no pleasure in talking to undutiful children.“Not that I have much pleasure indeed in talking to anybody.  People who suffer as I do from nervous complaints can have no great inclination for talking.  Nobody can tell what I suffer!–But it is always so.  Those who do not complain are never pitied.”

we-need-to-talk-about-kevin-australian-poster (1)

 

2-Eva Khatchadourian in We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

At the very beginning of this novel Lionel Shriver cites a quote by Erma Bombeck “A child needs your love when he deserves it least.”  Eva is a 37 year old successful career woman with her own travel company, in a stable and happy relationship. She is certainly reluctant about becoming a mother but does so to please her husband Franklin. We know from the outset that her son, Kevin, has gone on a shooting spree at his school and has killed nine students and two members of staff. The novel makes for propulsive reading as Eva

reconstructs her motherhood in a series of letters addressed to her now estranged husband. The genius of Shriver’s story is the way Kevin’s guilt and Eva’s guilt are investigated with psychological depth, the story carried by Eva’s voice, a narrator who may be unreliable but is always inexorably honest as she tries to unravel the genesis of Kevin’s evil deeds. Was it that she didn’t love him enough? Had the fact that she bopped around her Manhattan loft to “ Psycho Killer” instead of Mazart’s sonata’s make him evil? Eva expands on Sartre’s existential statement when she declares that “ Hell is other people you’re related to.” Shriver’s fiction challenges the reader to confront assumptions about nature and nurture, crime and punishment, forgiveness and redemption and how ultimately the answers are multitudinal, complex and  may defy rational comprehension. Eva’s own comment about motherhood is that “…trying to be a good mother may be as distant from being a good mother as trying to have a good time is from truly having one.”

 

 

 

3-Emma Bovary in Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert

Emma Bovary is a woman so disenchanted with the constraints of her life as the wife of a provincial doctor that she longs” to die or to live in Paris. “ In this phrase Flaubert perfectly illuminates the struggle for Emma who was bored to death with her role in life and longed for some indescribable “ something to happen, like shipwrecked sailors, she turned despairing eyes upon the solitude of her life, seeking afar some white sail in the mists of the horizon.”She elicits our sympathy because of her hopeless romantic fantasies that made an ordinary life in a french village a horror for her poetic sensibilities. Emma’s daughter Berthe fails to bring her any joy and after a series of affairs and profligate spending she commits suicide  leaving Berthe to a perilous fate. As a bourgeouis narcissist in 19th century France Emma was constitutionally unsuited to motherhood, selflessness and empathy were not part of her nature, traits that are necessary for the travails of motherhood.

 

4-Ma in Room by Emma Donoghue

 

Protection of  her son is also foremost in the mind of the mother in Emma Donoghue’s Room. Ma lives in a 11 by 11 foot room with five-year old Jack, the child born from repeated rape by her abductor. All Jack has ever known is Ma and Room; he has no concept of the world outside except what comes via their television set. It takes every ounce of courage and resourcefulness to protect and nurture her son, making the best of  the limited resources at her disposal. Ma coaches Jack on reading and writing, and even gets him doing yoga exercises. Through the engaging child narrator we realise that the child does not feel trapped in the confines of his existence, Ma through her selfless ingenuity and love makes his world expansive and whole.

 

5- Rosaleen  in The Green Road by Anne Enright

 

In Anne Enright’s non-fiction work Making Babies (2004) she writes “ that most of us come to an accommodation between the “ Mother “ in our heads and the woman who reared us.”Rosaleen is the matriarch of the Madigan family, who we initally meet in 1980 when she has taken to the bed in protest when Dan her eldest has declared his intention to join the priesthood. The loss of grandchildren would be catastrophic to the drama queen that is Rosaleen.The family scatter to all corners of the globe but are summoned back to Clare after a card from Rosaleen declaring that she is selling the family home because her family have all left her. Soon the “ children” are back at their assigned places at the table and regressing fast to their childhood selves. Rosaleen is ringmaster of this family circus and expertly manages  all her children’s emotions. She is always centre stage herself and no more so than at the end when she disappears into the night and the family all search for her, physically and metaphorically.The drama queen who could be impossible and nasty in her dealings unifies her brood with this drama. “ We had been for those hours on the dark mountainside, a force. A family.” As a mother Rosaleen is a fascinating and intriquing character, vain and self-centred she still elicits our sympathies and in the pantheon of irish mothers her position is safe.

rachel cusk

 

6-A Life’s Work:On Becoming A Mother by Rachel Cusk

 

Cusk describes the book as a letter to women “ in the hope that they find some companionship in my experience.” This true account of the first few months after her daughter Albertine was born is a memoir infused with wit and searing honesty, where daily battles with colic and childcare become almost a war diary. Her depictions of “ the anarchy of nights, the fog of days’ are candid emotional accounts of her experiences of new motherhood. This is a love story born out of the terrors and confusions of being a mother, neither good nor bad just fallible and human, negotiating a new role with intelligence and humanity.

 

7-  The Bolter from The Pursuit of Love by Nancy Mitford

Mitford’s Bolter is so names due to her habit of leaping from one marraige to another. She flits in and out of the life of her daughter Fanny with an endless array of lovers in tow. A woman who is described as having fled to Kenya to enbroil herself in “ hot stuff.. including horse-whipping and the areoplane” seems constitutionally unfit for hands on mammying. She does have a rapier wit which for this reader made her an enaging woman, if an appalling mother. At the end of the novel , when fanny explains that her cousin Linda has found “ the great love of her life, you know,” the Bolter replies, “ Oh, dulling, One always thinks that . Every,every time.”

 

9-Sophie Portnoy in Portnoy’s Complaint by Philip Roth

Sophie Portnoy is the overbearing Jewish mother, “ one of the outstanding producers and packagers of guilt in our time.”This woman is so invasive that she wants to see his bowel movements, control who he dates, tends to his every need which allows Portnoy to stay in a state of permanent adolescence. Portnoy’s enmeshment with his mother means he spends the rest of his life trying and failing to get away from her while subconsciously trying to find her replacement.

 

Joyce wrote that “ whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not” and Steinbeck wisely declared “ that it takes courage to raise children.  Larkin in his famous poem This Be The Verse stated -They fuck you up, your mum and dad/They may not mean to, but they do/ They fill you with the faults they had// And add some extra just for you-Novelists rejoice in the roomy expanse of the marriage plots as a device and in the narrative thrill that adultery provides but very few have tackled the mother as the central heart of the work . With Mother’s Day around the corner here are some of the books that explore our closest bond.

 

1-Mrs. Bennet in Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Jane Austen’s narrator described her as “a woman of mean understanding, little information and uncertain temper.” As mother to the five Bennet daughters who won’t be inheriting their father’s estate this incorrigible social gadfly’s mission is to find wealthy husbands for her girls. Controlling, bossy and very crude she raises the bar for meddling mothers and scheming matriarchs.Her crass actions are driven by economic necessity and she is one of the earliest depictions of what we now call a momager. One of the quotes that epitomises her character- “ I have no pleasure in talking to undutiful children.“Not that I have much pleasure indeed in talking to anybody.  People who suffer as I do from nervous complaints can have no great inclination for talking.  Nobody can tell what I suffer!–But it is always so.  Those who do not complain are never pitied.”

 

2-Eva Khatchadourian in We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

At the very beginning of this novel Lionel Shriver cites a quote by Erma Bombeck “A child needs your love when he deserves it least.”  Eva is a 37 year old successful career woman with her own travel company, in a stable and happy relationship. She is certainly reluctant about becoming a mother but does so to please her husband Franklin. We know from the outset that her son, Kevin, has gone on a shooting spree at his school and has killed nine students and two members of staff. The novel makes for propulsive reading as Eva

reconstructs her motherhood in a series of letters addressed to her now estranged husband. The genius of Shriver’s story is the way Kevin’s guilt and Eva’s guilt are investigated with psychological depth, the story carried by Eva’s voice, a narrator who may be unreliable but is always inexorably honest as she tries to unravel the genesis of Kevin’s evil deeds. Was it that she didn’t love him enough? Had the fact that she bopped around her Manhattan loft to “ Psycho Killer” instead of Mazart’s sonata’s make him evil? Eva expands on Sartre’s existential statement when she declares that “ Hell is other people you’re related to.” Shriver’s fiction challenges the reader to confront assumptions about nature and nurture, crime and punishment, forgiveness and redemption and how ultimately the answers are multitudinal, complex and  may defy rational comprehension. Eva’s own comment about motherhood is that “…trying to be a good mother may be as distant from being a good mother as trying to have a good time is from truly having one.”

 

 

 

3-Emma Bovary in Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert

Emma Bovary is a woman so disenchanted with the constraints of her life as the wife of a provincial doctor that she longs” to die or to live in Paris. “ In this phrase Flaubert perfectly illuminates the struggle for Emma who was bored to death with her role in life and longed for some indescribable “ something to happen, like shipwrecked sailors, she turned despairing eyes upon the solitude of her life, seeking afar some white sail in the mists of the horizon.”She elicits our sympathy because of her hopeless romantic fantasies that made an ordinary life in a french village a horror for her poetic sensibilities. Emma’s daughter Berthe fails to bring her any joy and after a series of affairs and profligate spending she commits suicide  leaving Berthe to a perilous fate. As a bourgeouis narcissist in 19th century France Emma was constitutionally unsuited to motherhood, selflessness and empathy were not part of her nature, traits that are necessary for the travails of motherhood.

 

4-Ma in Room by Emma Donoghue

 

Protection of  her son is also foremost in the mind of the mother in Emma Donoghue’s Room. Ma lives in a 11 by 11 foot room with five-year old Jack, the child born from repeated rape by her abductor. All Jack has ever known is Ma and Room; he has no concept of the world outside except what comes via their television set. It takes every ounce of courage and resourcefulness to protect and nurture her son, making the best of  the limited resources at her disposal. Ma coaches Jack on reading and writing, and even gets him doing yoga exercises. Through the engaging child narrator we realise that the child does not feel trapped in the confines of his existence, Ma through her selfless ingenuity and love makes his world expansive and whole.

 

5- Rosaleen  in The Green Road by Anne Enright

 

In Anne Enright’s non-fiction work Making Babies (2004) she writes “ that most of us come to an accommodation between the “ Mother “ in our heads and the woman who reared us.”Rosaleen is the matriarch of the Madigan family, who we initally meet in 1980 when she has taken to the bed in protest when Dan her eldest has declared his intention to join the priesthood. The loss of grandchildren would be catastrophic to the drama queen that is Rosaleen.The family scatter to all corners of the globe but are summoned back to Clare after a card from Rosaleen declaring that she is selling the family home because her family have all left her. Soon the “ children” are back at their assigned places at the table and regressing fast to their childhood selves. Rosaleen is ringmaster of this family circus and expertly manages  all her children’s emotions. She is always centre stage herself and no more so than at the end when she disappears into the night and the family all search for her, physically and metaphorically.The drama queen who could be impossible and nasty in her dealings unifies her brood with this drama. “ We had been for those hours on the dark mountainside, a force. A family.” As a mother Rosaleen is a fascinating and intriquing character, vain and self-centred she still elicits our sympathies and in the pantheon of irish mothers her position is safe.

 

6-A Life’s Work:On Becoming A Mother by Rachel Cusk

 

Cusk describes the book as a letter to women “ in the hope that they find some companionship in my experience.” This true account of the first few months after her daughter Albertine was born is a memoir infused with wit and searing honesty, where daily battles with colic and childcare become almost a war diary. Her depictions of “ the anarchy of nights, the fog of days’ are candid emotional accounts of her experiences of new motherhood. This is a love story born out of the terrors and confusions of being a mother, neither good nor bad just fallible and human, negotiating a new role with intelligence and humanity.

 

7-  The Bolter from The Pursuit of Love by Nancy Mitford

Mitford’s Bolter is so names due to her habit of leaping from one marraige to another. She flits in and out of the life of her daughter Fanny with an endless array of lovers in tow. A woman who is described as having fled to Kenya to enbroil herself in “ hot stuff.. including horse-whipping and the areoplane” seems constitutionally unfit for hands on mammying. She does have a rapier wit which for this reader made her an enaging woman, if an appalling mother. At the end of the novel , when fanny explains that her cousin Linda has found “ the great love of her life, you know,” the Bolter replies, “ Oh, dulling, One always thinks that . Every,every time.”

 

9-Sophie Portnoy in Portnoy’s Complaint by Philip Roth

Sophie Portnoy is the overbearing Jewish mother, “ one of the outstanding producers and packagers of guilt in our time.”This woman is so invasive that she wants to see his bowel movements, control who he dates, tends to his every need which allows Portnoy to stay in a state of permanent adolescence. Portnoy’s enmeshment with his mother means he spends the rest of his life trying and failing to get away from her while subconsciously trying to find her replacement.

mr-and-mrs-bennet-jane-austens-couples-14290545-499-281